


Why we can't have nice things

by DigiConjurer



Series: The unsorted adventures of Princess Byleth and the Black Eagles [17]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route Spoilers, M/M, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, chapter 2, oopsy, raid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 03:10:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20923208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigiConjurer/pseuds/DigiConjurer
Summary: Well, that was quite a smash.





	Why we can't have nice things

I don’t own fire emblem.

* * *

Thanks to the magic of ‘alternate viewpoints’, we come upon the classroom of the Black Eagles before it’s leveled by some unknown threat.

At first, things seemed normal enough. Sothis was playing on her 3DS, Ferdinand and Hubert were chatting about something with Linhardt and Capar doing… something. As for Petra and Edelgard, they were twiddling their thumbs.

“This is boring!” Caspar announced, turning to Sothis for the moment. “You’re the teacher’s kid, you gotta know something!”

Sothis looked up from her 3DS. She wasn’t entirely why this meathead of all people thought she had some clue of what to do. She sat right at the bottom of the totem pole when it came to these scholarly matters. Even then, her intelligence dwarfed most of them anyhow.

"What do you think?" she muttered, not even hiding her frustration in that moment. This was now the fifth attempt on this stupid knight boss. Switching to hard mode before the boss fight may have not been the best idea. But she would persevere. “If you want something to do, Go raid the Golden Deer classroom.”

Definitely not the best suggestion to give to the one guy who loves a good scrap. Especially now that he was right in front of his boyfriend’s desk.

“Hey Linhardt!” the brawler announced, grabbing hold of his sleepy companion. A slight shake followed. Though, I think you can see where this is going. “Let’s go raid the Golden Deer Classroom!”

Linhardt looked towards Caspar, eyes still closed. Quite a heavy sleeper if I’ve ever seen one. Almost puts Mitama to shame. At least Linhardt doesn’t have the stupid haiku speaking pattern.

Nonetheless, the two hobble their way over to the door.

“Where are you two going?” Hubert barked and watched Caspar turn around. What looks to be a knife comes out. Does get him a look from Ferdinand. Pretty good idea what he wanted to do there.

“We’re going to go raid the Golden Deer Classroom!” Caspar announced and headed though, Linhardt pulled right along. Maybe he didn’t want to go and raid them? Probably didn’t think about that, did you.

Oh wait. He’s already out the door. Not that he could even hear me in the first place. Probably shout back if he could.

“I’m going after them.” Hubert announced, finding a hand on his back from a certain. Not going to mention any names - Ferdinand. Grabbing hold of said hand, the two make their way in the same direction as our two rambunctious teenagers. Which made Petra’s decision to join them all the more confusing in that moment. Maybe she wanted to see what all was going on at the moment. Or perhaps she too had a grudge against the golden deer for whatever reason.

“Crud.” Edelgard muttered, pulling her phone out.

_ FlameEmperor logged in. _

FlameEmperor: Solon, are you there?

_ Solon logged in. _

Solon: Yeah. What is it?

FlameEmperor: My friend is heading for the library. Could you please play it cool?

Solon: Is this about your girlfriend?

FlameEmperor: Solon!

Solon: What? She's going to find out eventually. 

FlameEmperor: Yes, but that’s a bridge I’m going to have to cross. Just make sure they get their books.

Solon: One problem.

FlameEmperor: What?

Solon: Bartholomew invited me to go drink last night and I woke up in the stables.

FlameEmperor: You Idiot!

Solon: As it turns out, he is quite a wonderful host. Even read me a nice bedtime story while I was inebriated.

Before Edelgard had a chance to respond to this utter incompetence at the moment, the room began to shake. 

_ Edelgard logged out. _

Getting up from her seat, Edelgard dashed over to her classroom entrance. There, she found Linhardt and Caspar duking it out with the beefcake of the Golden Deer. What was his name? I can’t seem to recall it. Doesn’t matter really, since it’s really stalemate of Caspar punching the human equivalent of a brick wall. So we shift our metaphorical camera to the Golden Deer classroom itself. There, the trio of Hubert, Ferdinand and Petra are facing down the rest of the Golden Deer.

Huh. Was kind of expecting it to be different from the Black Eagle’s. Though, I do think I can make out a doll in that white-haired girl’s pocket. One of the princess sort, decked out in purple of all colors. Pink would’ve been a better choice. Unless the doll is changing it up for some reason.

“Marianne, could you please put the knife down?” Lysithea announced, a girl with blue hair putting it away.

“Yeah…” she whispered, getting ready for any healing that would need to be done. Or would’ve, if not for the spear pointing down at her. “Please don’t kill me.”

Ferdinand shook his head.

“I would never think of doing that.” Ferdinand remarked, shooting his boyfriend a look. “I can’t guarantee anything with Hubert though.”  
Hubert just sighed.

“If Ferdinand Von Aegir gives his word, I will follow it.” Hubert muttered, turning his attention to the rest of the Golden Deer. Another glance from Ferdinand brings that to an end for the moment.

“If this is a raid, what are raiding?” Petra announced, gaze focusing on Lysithea at the moment. “May I have your doll?”

Lysithea looked away, doll coming out. Don’t really blame her feeling that way. Especially considering that this mess is technically Claude’s fault on top of Sothis at the moment.

“You better take good care of her.” the white haired girl remarked, glance now back on Petra for the moment. “I would suggest you get out of here.”

Petra nodded, only to get 

“Get out of here?” Petra remarked, not entirely sure what her target was really talking about at the moment. “Where exactly is here?”

Lysithea let out a sigh. She had forgotten this particular quirk of Petra. Though, the incoming charge of the human wall was more than enough to get the message - loud and clear. So did Hubert and Ferdinand. Caspar and Linhardt were thankfully still outside in that moment. Which just left Sothis and Edelgard in the Black Eagle’s classroom…

.

Byleth let out a sigh.

“So do you know where Sothis is, by any chance?” the professor remarked, watching a cloud of dust form just behind Edelgard. Out popped a familiar green-haired girl. Definitely pissed. 3DS looked to be intact though. Which is all that really matters in this moment.

“Sorry about this, Edelgard.” Bernadetta mouthed and got a head shake from Edelgard in return. She gave the house leader a look, kneeling down to be on her level.

“If anything, this is more Sothis’s fault.” Edelgard remarked, getting a shrug from Sothis in return. Guess that means class is off for the rest of the week? Or they’ll need to find someplace else.

**Author's Note:**

> A bit more of a pain than the last one, but I like how this turned out. Even if did go through some small changes.
> 
> Next up, the free time from hell itself. Oh boy.


End file.
